Dear Missionaries I'm terribly sorry....

So today I embarrassed myself. You guys know me, its nothing out of the ordinary.

But today I felt like a sinner because of what I did.

My brother Aaron is a professional singer, yes? Ok, so he's working with the missionaries of our Stake right now to put on a fireside. He was outside talking to them for the longest time...so long I had time to shower, put lotion on, put product in my hair and blow dry it. So long my sister had time to jump in the shower and put lotion on and start working on her hair.

Since it was my Birthday a few days ago my friend bought me cute undies. So I wanted to show them off to my sister in law (who was over at the time she was down in our office). So I did what any girl would do. So I ran downstairs and I said as loud as I could, "SOOO I WANTED TO MODEL YOU MY NEW....UHHH NEVER MIND!" That is when it happened..when I got embarrassed, the missionaries were downstairs in our office with my brother Aaron using the computer. I'm sure they didn't see me in my bra and undies..but still you never know. I booked it back up the stairs as fast as I could, ran into my room and slammed the door shut. I then threw clothes on and walked into the bathroom where Abi (my sister) was dressed exactly like me.

I really hope you guys didn't see. I'm forever embarrassed for life.

Dear person who forgot my birthday...

Yesterday was my Birthday.

I know everyone forgets a birthday in their life...but this was not just anyone.

Maybe they did remember or maybe they didn't wish me a Happy Birthday on purpose. I know you're upset with me, but I honestly don't know why. I mean come on, your mom wished me a Happy Birthday. Least you can do it wish me one too. Obviously your mother likes me..

But I'd honestly like to know why you didn't wish me a Happy Birthday because i'm quite upset about it. Yes I really am upset about this...I truly am. Lets see if you're invited to my birthday party! Ha!

Yours truly,

Annalise Karr

To my brother dears....

Note to self...NEVER and I mean NEVER go hot tubbing with your brothers....never. Especially if you tell them NOT to get your hair wet...they will..trust me they will.

Dear Women (and Men) of the world that tan...too much...

All I have to say is there is a fine line between...being tan and rolling around in Doritos.

There is also a fine line between being tan and looking like you just popped out of an oven like a burnt cookie.

That is all.

For those boys at the dance club I go to...

I do not understand you sometimes. Nope I do not.

You slap mine and my friends bums and you try to grind with us. Last time I checked this was a dry dance club and you can be kicked out for doing those kind of things.

You think you're cool...I got news for you...you are NOT cool. You're a pig...a big fat one!

For the boys that go there and respect us girls...you're quite amazing. Thanks for respecting us. Not all of us are slutty and wanna hook up. Thanks!

To the little children who sneak into club dances for 15+...

Yes, you may think you're cool. You may lie about your I.D. or say you're on the cheer squad at the local high school near by. And you may stuff your bra to make your breasts look bigger, And you may come with older kids.

BUT, I see right through you. And guess what?? I work at that dance club that you sneak into...guess what I can do to you...I can get you band from that dance club till you have I.D. to prove you're old enough or until you're 16.

You're not cool for sneaking in. Really you're not. No not at all.

Maybe you should re-think about coming next Friday. :]

Dear Creators of American Idol and people who watch it...

I haven't followed it much this year..but, I feel like the contestants aren't as strong as the past years. Why? They don't have much personality...and to me..personality is EVERYTHING.

Why i'm on this subject you may ask...the other day I was babysitting for a friend she had it on while she was finishing getting ready...I had watched the first few episodes..but that was it. She agreed with me that the contestants aren't that great this year. She and her husband are performers and have a band...this is why her opinion is important to me.

Lots of them are either super shy or too out there. It bothers me...lots of things bother me.

That is why I have this blog!

To the people of the world who get married young....

Ok so you've had a boyfriend your WHOLE life...you think you're in love?? No. Probably not. I'm semi anti against getting married young.

This is a post to everyone 18 to about 22.

Have you ever just dated besides always having a boyfriend?? You make situations awkward.

I just had a friend tell me she's getting married...awkward. I haven't seen her for about 6 months. We used to be really close until she got a boyfriend (again) anyways now they're engaged and getting married. I'm happy for her but apparently I heard wrong on some part of it....


She told me I don't know her..

Dear people who spread rumors....

I found out the other day that I've been sneaking out my window to boys houses to get it on.

My room is RIGHT NEXT to my parents and my brothers rooms, and I sleep in the same room as my little sisters. We're not allowed to close our doors unless we're on a business call, changing, or in a serious conversation with one another.

How could I be that sneaky??..am I a ninja or a secret assassin?? WOW! Thank you for now letting me know i'm a closet whore with ninja powers. I never knew I did that or had a secret life. I never knew...figures huh?

Next I'll hear is that i'm lesbian and have a kid on the way...hmmm. Exciting!

To the liars of the world....

You probably annoy me more than FLIRTS.

Today I was out with some friends, we picked up on of our friends from Track practice. We called her mom to let her know and her older sister answered.

Let me give you a low down on her sister...she loves to ruin everyone else's relationships BUT her own. It gets really frustrating and annoying. She also makes you feel stupid, annoyed, rude, guilty, ungrateful, and pissed off like a psycho. She also makes up stupid lies.....NO!....you don't understand me, like really stupid lies.

Any-who, we call and she answers. We tell her we picked up her younger sister from her track meet. She says, "Were you supposed to pick her up??" My friend replies, "Uhhhh....she asked us to pick her up..?" She says, "Oh! Ok well we've been sitting out here in the car for a half hour now." (this is yet another one of her fake lying replies) Our friend replies, "Umm oh, thats not what she said. She said she was supposed to get a ride from her friend thats also on the track team..." her sister replies, "Oh ok then. Bye." our friend says, "Umm ok uh bye?" but extremely fast.

How awkward of a conversation. This is what I mean liars....if you're gonna lie make it like Napoleon Dynamite's lies, something completely stupid and ignorant. We knew you weren't sitting out in the car for a half hour. The track practice JUST got over 15 minutes ago...stupid, stupid, stupid people. This post goes same for all the rumor spreaders....its annoying!

Sincerely, Annalise A. Karr

Dear Facebook pop up window...

You popped up when I clicked "Become a Fan" on a fan page.

You said, "Sorry, you cannot add any more friends or fan more pages without removing some first." I guess I can now officially confess that i'm a "become a fan" addict. Facebook is taking over my life. This now proves how many fan pages I am a fan of. Must be in the thousands....? I'm gonna go check!

Now I gotta go and delete some friends AND fan pages. ]: But then more of my friends good looking friends can add me. Yes keep my chin up!

P.S. Facebook I'm divorcing you now and I HATE you.

Dear lady at the French bakery (but you're chinese)..

Dear lady who is Chinese but owns a French bakery,

I walked into your bakery today and you started speaking Chinese to me.....then you stopped. Just in case you didn't know i'm American..I don't speak any Asian language. Then you proceeded talking but in Spanish....i'm not Mexican or Spanish in any form. Then you must have seen my confused face and you asked me what I wanted....but in English....how did you know that i'm not bilingual?!

Dear creator of M.A.S.H...

Thank you for this wonderful game you created. I'm pretty sure you're probably little 13 year old girls who were bored and thought of all the types of places you could live in. I wonder if you made up the game B.A.S.H as well. Let me explain...B.A.S.H stands for basement, alley way, studio and house. M.A.S.H stands for.....Mansion, Apartment, Shack and House. M.A.S.H is the classier version.

M.A.S.H....It entertains me and my younger sisters at 12:00 o'clock in the morning, when we're really supposed to be in bed. If only my dad knew....oh wait! Now he will know. Anyways, I now know how my life is going to turn out. Which is surprisingly not too shabby. Wanna hear? I knew you would!

I'm going to live in a Mansion with a black Camero, work as a PIMP (HAHA yes a PIMP.) have 4 kids and be married to my friend Justin, live in New York and we're going to have a pet Horse. Great life right? I get to have a pet horse! I might as well start a carriage business. Its all I've ever wanted.

Here's how you play you have 7 categories (NOT including M.A.S.H which you place at the top of your page.) Each category has 4 options. The 7 categories that you have are.. job, car, color, place (city or country where you live), Boys/girls (people you find attractive or like.), kids (number of kids you want), and pets. Then you have someone draw swirls and count at the same time, but in their head and then you tell them when to stop. They go through the categories and cross out which options fall on the number that they counted in their head. The standing ones in each category are your life.

Abi, Ariel and I are pros. Ask us questions. ENJOY!

Dear 10 yr. olds (or children younger than 16)....

Dear children younger than 16,

You make me very uncomfortable with your "boyfriend" or "girlfriends" when you hug all over them and lean up against each other on a wall or car or some object like that, and when you kiss each other in public. I mean you're only 10?! Do your parents know about that? I didn't think so.

When I was your age I had a crush, not a boyfriend...I thought boys were trash can licking cootie carrying monsters. What is this world coming to?? So, please slow down your pace. Because when you're my age you'll be a mother with 2 kids, not gonna be a happy life.

Anyways maybe you should kiss in secret. I'm 17 (in 5 days) and I've only kissed 3 guys....yes 3....you heard me!

So you may be wondering why i'm on this subject, let me spread some light on it for you.

I was out last Saturday at Classic Skating (you know the roller-bladding place? Yeah, that's Classic Skating) anyways, I was taking a break since my hip was hurting and my friend Julia came and sat behind me. I looked back at her and noticed up against the wall of the building were two little 10 year olds (or they looked that old..?) He was leaned up against her and she was against the wall. They were hugging and kissing. Being sarcastic I said, "Aweee Julia look at the little 10 year olds making out!" and I pointed at them. She looked back and said, "haha! Awee that was me back in the day." Awkward.

To the people who think i talk a lot....

Dear people/family/friends,

Yes you may think I talk too much or a lot and too quickly. Just a little friendly reminder or note to say that i'm keeping you on your toes and making you listen better. Take care!

Oh! p.s. I love you...HAHA no just kidding....I don't really talk a lot, i'm just keeping the conversation lively and happy since YOU are NOT talking. Maybe if you talked more i'd listen better. Yup ok thats it.

Dear Flirts of the world...

You annoy me sometimes, yes, yes you do. If I could i'd just flirt with you! Ha! See ya now you're annoyed. But no really. You should learn manners.

Especially if you're on a date and you start flirting with your friends date. NOW that can get annoying. And if your friend ends up being miffed (angry or annoyed, pissed, etc.) say SORRY OK?

Give up your pride....and learn some dating ethics. No really though.

Oh and if your friend gets mad at you, you obviously pushed buttons with them...and they must OBVIOUSLY like that boy. So how about not add them on Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, etc. And how about not following them on any of them...because just in case you didn't know or cared they can see everything that you post or "like". The only thing we cant see are your chat or inbox messages, but if you're a hacker you can see those too.

Anyways, i'd greatly appreciate it if you learned NOT to flirt as fast as you learned TO flirt.

You remind of the stupid girl Snooki on Jersey Shore....if you don't know who she is or what Jersey Shore is then look it up...oh...i mean Google it.

Dear Creators of Sudoku

This is just a little shout out to the Creators of Sudoku. If you do not know what Sudoku is you have NOT lived.....I repeat HAVE NOT LIVED! Now a short message from Daniel Stratton..

Dear Bloggy People of the Internet. We have arrived. Prepare for mass destruction of your brain. We are now going to pirate your life from yourself. Amen. Take Luck.

DAN

Thank you Dan for that enlightening moment. It was quite amazing. Well that is all. Happy living! [: